Fracas

I am returning to the state of reclaiming the self that wasn't abducted by any sort of negligible responsibilities. But that self is not something immediate, it doesn't transpire at the moment it is wished to be present or evacuated. I am laden by tumultuous stressful indignation, the emotional ruckus that I don't cherish - my only mantra is that this will pass. 

I get sick, repeatedly and in those moments of insensitivity, my ability to measure the consequence of reality, and action are without proper judgment. I lacked feelings, and I lacked the magnitude to even imagine - I'd only hope that such imperturbable scheme of things stayed on. I drowned.

Sleep comes easy - the state of trance and not having recollection of events, dentures, excitements, losing, recuperating - everything passes.

Beyond consistent pressure, I stand, unable to chart myself - where do I go next. I can only hope for the better.

M